We’re starting off a new feature here on Guy Movie Review called Monday Movie Battle, where we put together odd match-ups between movies and their characters and let them battle it out to see who reigns supreme. In the first GMR movie battle ever, we put together a ninja bout (who doesn’t love ninjas?) between my favorite childhood ninjas the Turtles and my favorite new ninja Raizo from Ninja Assassin!

Ninja Assassin Origins

Raizo from Ninja Assassin is one of the most talented ninjas from his clan. They are a group of mercenary assassins taken as children and trained in the deadly art of the ninja. Upon successful completion of a mission, Raizo refuses to take the life of an innocent to prove his loyalty and is attacked by his own clan. He resurfaces years later to avenge himself and the girl he loved.

Ninja Turtle Origins

The Ninja Turtles, Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo and Raphael are four turtles who grow in size and intelligence due to a radioactive ooze canister that was dumped in the sewer. A rat known as Splinter, also affected by the green ooze, grows as well and takes care of them as his own children. Being the pet of a ninja while in Japan, Splinter knows and teaches his turtles the ancient art form. They grow up to fight crime in New York while eating their favorite food: pizza.

How They Would Meet…

Raizo tracks the location of a group of ninja assassins to New York City, where they plan to off an especially troublesome reporter named April O’ Neil. The assassins are quickly dispatched of by the turtles, especially because they didn’t think she would offer much resistance versus say, a yakuza lord or political official. Watching from afar, Raizo attacks the strange-looking ninjas believing them to be enemies as well. Although at first outmatched by his long chain weapon and mysterious speed, the Turtles are able to fend him off long enough to figure out his fighting style. Using a four against one approach, Raizo is eventually outmatched by his inhuman foes.

Being as they are the good guys, the Turtles eventually let him go after he explains his story to Splinter. They split a box of pizza and depart as friends. Maybe he and April exchange numbers.

Stat Battle

Height
Raizo: 6′
Turtles: Under 5′
Winner: Raizo by way of being taller than teen girls

Speed
Raizo: Superhuman
Turtles: Superhuman
Winner: Even

English
Raizo: Broken
Turtles: Regular
Winner: Turtles

Weapons
Raizo: Sword, chain
Turtles: Sais, katanas, nunchucks, bow
Winner: Turtles

Hair
Raizo: Flowing, raven locks
Turtles: None
Winner: Raizo

Dancing Ability

Raizo: Rain is an international popstar

Turtles: The Turtles danced to Vanilla Ice…
Winner: Even

We hope you enjoyed this first edition of our Monday Movie Battle!

Although the summer of 2010 hasn’t even come to a close yet, it’s never too early to look at what’s in store for us in 2012. Since it’s the last year EVER, it’s great that we have some great movies to look forward to. Don’t believe me? Read on…

Summer 2012 Guy Movie List

Here are some great guy movies you can all look forward to seeing in theaters.

Batman 3 – July 20, 2012: The sequel to the wildly successful film the Dark Knight is set to kick some ass at the box office. It’ll probably beat Avatar’s record. Okay, maybe I’m just getting too excited to see what Nolan can come up with.

Spider-Man – July 3, 2012: Not sure what Sony/Columbia is planning with the movie, but all things are pointing to a reboot. The script has been plagued with rewrites and there’s no clear direction in sight. Either way, I’ll look forward to seeing what the studios can do to get this franchise headed in the right direction. If I hear another “Batman Begins” treatment, I think I’ll hurl. That worked for Nolan – let’s move on.

The Avengers – May 4, 2012: Everything Marvel has been building up to in their Iron Man movies will lead to this moment. With Captain America: The First Avenger expected to hit theaters some time next year, it will really drive some great momentum for fans leading up to the collaborative Avengers movie where we’ll get to see the entire cast. I hope Downey Jr. and Norton are okay with Chris Evans calling the shots…

Star Trek Sequel – June 29, 2012: JJ Abrams reboot did wonders for the Star Trek films, so it’s no surprise that a sequel is on the horizon.

A lot of movies and a lot of Scifi planned for the movies. It’s a trend that’s not going away anytime soon.

Which of these films are you looking forward to most before a giant meteor hits the earth in 2012?

Chris Hemsworth as Thor

[source: MTV news]

I think he looks awesome as Thor. What are your initial reactions?

Everyone’s excited to see Iron Man 2. Some people have emailed me saying they’re not sure about the design of the Whiplash character or are asking if the producers took any liberties with the character. I’ve decided to clear things up with this post on everything you need to know about Whiplash before seeing the movie. Whiplash will be played by an excellent actor in Mickey Rourke, and I have no doubt that he will deliver a memorable performance as Iron Man’s main enemy in the sequel to Iron Man.

Whiplash Origin

Real Name: Mark Scarlotti Identity: Whiplash History: According to Marvel -

“Mark Scarlotti was a brilliant young man with a bright future. Graduating with top honors from college and a promising job at Stark International, Scarlotti could have had it all. It all went south, however, when he became friends with the wrong people. Filled with dreams of grandeur, he made some bad deals with hopes of a big payoff. Eventually, Mark worked developing weapons, first for the Maggia, then for himself. He took a more active role in their activities and became the costumed criminal known as Whiplash. His first real test put him up against the invincible Iron Man, but Whiplash could not complete the task of eliminating him. Suffering defeat after defeat at the hands of his armored foe, Scarlotti upgraded his weaponry and took a new alias. He remerged on the crime scene with a new attitude and called himself Blacklash.”

Whiplash Costume Evolution

Iron Man Animated Series Whiplash Costume

Iron Man Comics Backlash Costume

Iron Man Comics Leather Backlash Costume

Wicked Whiplash Art

Whiplash Iron Man 2 Concept Art

Mickey Rourke as Whiplash in Iron Man 2

I can’t wait to see what kind of life Rourke injects into this tortured character, because let’s be honest, he was a bit of a second rate villain in the comic book and animated series. I thought all told they did a pretty good job of bringing the character to life.

Will I be seeing you in theaters on opening night?

I complain a lot about casting choices here, and that’s not likely to change anytime soon. Especially not when studios pull horrible moves like casting Chris Evans in the role of the iconic Captain America. I’m not a Cap fanboy for sure, but I do respect what Marvel has tried to do in establishing credibility with their recent films. Everything seems to have gone so right with Thor and Iron Man 2, so I wonder what happened with the executives that prompted them to make such a bad decision.

Here are my 2 biggest problems with the casting:

1. Chris Evans is already the Human Torch in the Fantastic Four film series, meaning he inhabits the same universe as Captain America.

2. Chris Evans cannot carry a movie, despite the fact that he’s not such a bad actor. Those of you who are doubting me only need to re-watch Push to see what I mean.

Also consider at some point that Captain America will be united with the other Marvel heroes in an Avengers movie, and he’ll have to lead the troops. Can you imagine Chris Evans having any credibility on screen juxtaposed between the likes of Samuel L. Jackson (Nick Fury), Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man) or Ed Norton (Hulk)? I’m definitely not seeing this one play out well.

My Ideal Captain America

I would have offered the role to Leonardo Dicaprio or Matt Damon if given the opportunity. Both are highly capable actors that can lead an ensemble cast of talented actors, which is basically what the Avengers movie would be. I have no doubt the movie will fail to reach its potential even if they got a good script together. Evans simply isn’t the right guy for the job. He did play the perfect Johnny Storm, but he’s not right for the stars and stripes. I’m getting more and more worried about this Avengers movie.

I’m interested in hearing your reactions to the casting. Who would you have chosen?

News: Zack Snyder, director of Frank Miller’s epic comic 300 is in talks with Warner Bros. to re-release the movie in 3D. Warner apparently showed Snyder a 10 minute clip that they had converted to the 3D format, and according to the director the full movie could be done soon. Also, Snyder is working on a sequel to the movie and is waiting on all original material from Miller himself.

[source: SuperHeroHype]

Would You See 300 in 3D?

I’m just curious to see how many people would be willing to pay for another ticket to see the same movie in 3D. I know I would be since I rewatch the movie often enough that adding the novelty of 3D would be worth it. How about for you? Avatar was my first 3D movie experience ever, and I’m not ashamed to say that I’d watch anything in that format – as long as it’s a Guy movie. I can’t wait to see how 3D changes the way directors tell their stories onscreen. Can you imagine how great The Hobbit or even a converted Lord of the Rings trilogy would look? Count me in.

300 Sequel Directions

I’ve read a lot recently about the sequel to the 300 movie, and it’s safe to say that no one really knows what to expect. Some have mentioned the 300 live on and battle in Hades while others have suggested the movie will actually be a prequel. I feel that the movie itself was a great launching pad for a movie with a grander scale. Leonidas mentioned that he wanted everyone to know what happened at his last stand, and how few stood against many. Snyder could easily build upon this, take a step back and show how the actions of the 300 Spartans united the Greek nations in repelling the Persian Empire. The last battles of that war are epic in scope and scale, and only that kind of vision will do justice to the more myopic themes touched on in the original film.

300 Apples

For those of you who haven’t seen it yet, here’s on of my favorite spoofs from the 300 movie. Makes me laugh every time I see it.

Where do you think the next film should go? Before you speak, know that at Guy Movie Review everyone, even a king’s messenger, is responsible for the words of his voice. Now, what message do you bring?

The revamped Conan the Barbarian movie that has been in development limbo at several studios is finally coming together. Lionsgate will be releasing the film domestically, and it looks like they’ve just about finished rounding out the cast. The movie will be directed by Marcus Nispel. Take a look at the list of actors attached so far.

Jason Momoa is Conan the Barbarian

Other Actors

• Ron Perlman as Conan’s father
• Rose McGowan as an evil witch (and not Red Sonja???)
• Rachel Nichols
• Stephen Lang
• Bob Sapp
• Leo Howard
• and Said Taghmaoui

Mixed Feelings

The first thing that comes to mind for me when reading about this project is that the casting of Momoa to reprise the role that Arnold made famous is a mistake. But then again, I also questioned Heath Ledger as the Joker when I first heard the news. Momoa, most famous for his Baywatch and Stargate TV shows, could really bulk up if given time. I’ve decided to wait and see before jumping to any conclusions this time and any Conan is better than no Conan at all in my mind.

And while it’s always easy to criticize casting choices, it becomes rather difficult to choose a worthy Conan when you think about it. I’m interested to see who you would have chose as the conquering barbarian if given the opportunity, rather than just screaming “Dear God noooo!!!” like all the other netizens.

Arnold Schwarzenegger the Original Conan

Who would you have chosen to play Conan?

You start to see this with movies where producers are wanting to take a more “realistic” treatment of the property: aka, they want it to be less like a comic book. While some of the great films like Spider-Man and maybe even Thor can never escape their comic book ties (or rather, they don’t want or need to), the rest of the herd will look to distinguish itself by not falling under that superhero mold.

In any case, these movies are the ones we’re all anticipating most. Here are some updates on the biggest comic book movie projects right now.

Comic Book Movie Update

Superman
In a fresh jolt of amazing news, Christopher Nolan of Batman fame (the man largely credited with reinventing the superhero movie) will be in charge of putting together the pieces of the next Superman reboot! No word yet on whether Brandon Routh will return. Nolan will most likely not direct, but has signed on to direct the third Batman film.

Ant-Man
Director Edgar Wright is in talks to bring Ant-Man to the big screens after years of stalled production. The beloved Avenger will be getting his own movie according to Stan Lee.

Green Lantern
Tim Robbins has joined the cast of the Green Lantern along with star Ryan Reynolds, Peter Sarsgaard and Blake Lively. The project is expected to begin filming in March.

Captain America
Director Joe Johnston, who released The Wolfman in theaters recently, has given up some fresh tidbits on the Captain America property he is helming. Among the noteworthy details he gave, Johnston will be shooting The First Avenger in HD (possibly with 3D post-processing) in the U.K. He will be done casting in March preferring an unknown actor, and will have the iconic hero wearing two different costumes.

Plastic Man
Everyone’s favorite teen-wolf Taylor Lautner has been cast as toy maker Mattel’s Plastic Man. The young actor of Twilight fame has been capitalizing on the success of New Moon as of late, signing on for the Max Steel project as well. Studio executives are hoping the movie will have success much like that of another toy line re-imagined for the big screen: Transformers.

Daredevil
Regency Entertainment is preparing for a reboot of the popular Daredevil movie originally starring Ben Affleck. Peter Chernin formerly of News Corp is producing.

Well I’ve had enough comic book movie news for a while, how about you?

When news broke that Spider-Man 4 wasn’t going to happen and that Sam Raimi and Tobey Maguire were out, I was more than a little shocked. After all, the studios kept telling us that it was going to shoot soon and that things were going swimmingly after the numerous rewrites. I was sad then, but I’m terrified now. They want to put Spider-Man back in high school to “open up the creative possibilities.” “Like O-M-G Peter!” What’s a Spidey fan like me to do at this moment? Since there’s nothing we can do, let’s take a look at the top 5 worst candidates for the web-slinger’s role.

1. Zac Effron.

Why He’s a Bad Choice: He might have the looks, but the guy simply can’t act. I appreciate how much effort he puts into his movies but he lacks the talent to carry such a demanding role. That, and everyone will be yelling “High School Musical!” during the previews.

2. Taylor Lautner.

Why He’s a Bad Choice: If Columbia Pictures somehow rewrote it so that Spider-Man never wore a shirt, I could see this appealing at least to young females. Alas, it’s not the case. We’ve already seen (those of us with girlfriends) how bad New Moon was with Lautner trying to carry a movie.

3. Justin Chatwin.

Why He’s a Bad Choice: The guy destroyed the Dragon Ball franchise after just one movie, so let him do the same with Spider-Man? At least Tobey will appreciate how much better Chatwin makes him look.

4. Zack and Cody.

Why He’s a Bad Choice: If you want to see Spider-Man in high school, look no further than the acting you get with Suite Life of Zack and Cody. Seriously. You might as well hire the talent from that show too.

5. Shia Labeouf.

Why He’s a Bad Choice: With Indiana Jones and Transformers already under his belt, Labeouf needs just one more franchise to destroy. This movie is damned either way – at least we’ll be able to blame someone for it.

I sincerely hope that none of the above are ever chosen, but hey, in Hollywood where it’s money over substance, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Venom Recast

Try as you may, most movie-goers cannot seem to forget the laughable performance Topher Grace put forth as Eddie Brock in Spider-Man 3. Largely unsuited for the role, Grace was chosen as a “similar-physiqued” opposite to Tobey Maguire’s web-slinger. Most fans at the time were well aware of the pressure exerted by Columbia Pictures execs on director Sam Raimi to finish off the storyline, essentially throwing in the Venom character at the last minute. The result was a rushed plot and a movie that did no justice to the beloved villain. Who can forget how Brock slowly and menacingly stalked Peter Parker and his family with all the secrets the suit gave him in the comic books? None of that was present in the film.

Restarting the Character

The best hope for Columbia Pictures is a reintroduction of the character. Although this may seem unlikely after Venom’s apparent demise by goblin bomb at the end of SM3, if they’re willing to start over, we’re willing to look away.

What do you think about the new Venom movie? Should director Gary Ross reintroduce the character, or attempt to carry on after what happened in SM3?

[Source: Variety]